


Ah, Oui, Oui, Mon Ami

by RosaFloribunda



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, For like two years, Gen, Humor, Lafayette tries to call him out on it and fails, Thomas Jefferson Pretending to be French, Yeah I don't know either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:38:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaFloribunda/pseuds/RosaFloribunda
Summary: Thomas Jefferson loves France so much he decides to pretend to be French to his classmates. Very surprisingly, it works, mostly because he lives in Virginia. But what will happen when an actual French kid joins the school??????(Warning: my crappy attempt at humour)





	Ah, Oui, Oui, Mon Ami

Thomas Jefferson was French. He had always been French (okay, so his name wasn't French, but the day James Madison met him in freshman chemistry he introduced himself in a French accent and that was close enough). He answered questions in class and argued with his long-standing rival Alexander Hamilton in the same accent, and he didn't take French lessons because they were 'too easy' for him - of course, he was already fluent. Alexander, probably because they were bitter enemies, spread rumours that his actual French was awful and barely understandable, but Thomas stopped them with a bemused and hurt expression and an exclamation of "Aimez-vous des baguettes?"¹

James didn't know what that meant - he took German as his compulsory foreign language - but it sure sounded impressive.

And then came the day their homeroom teacher announced they were going to have a new student in their class, Gilbert de Lafayette.

"Ah," said Thomas to James, "ze French name. Perhaps he will know, 'ow you say, a smattering of ze beautiful language."

"Quite possibly, Jefferson," the teacher answered him with a small smile. "Gilbert is actually coming here all the way from the Limousin in France."

Thomas dropped his pen with a clatter.

"Exciting, isn't it?" And the teacher began to describe the Limousin region to the class while Thomas stared, pale and wan, at the wall.

"Are you okay?" James asked him concernedly.

"Er..." Thomas turned to his classmate, eyes wild. "Well, ze thing ees, Jacques" (he always called James Jacques) "we can't talk to zis Gilbert. My people and ze people of Limousin are bitter enemies."

"Oh."

"Oui."

"Um, okay. That's cool, I guess."

So, when Gilbert de Lafayette arrived, a very normal boy in a dun-coloured hoodie and jeans, Thomas swept by him with his bag full of pastries which he snacked on almost constantly during the day, his French flag baseball cap, his shoes with glittery Eiffel Towers and his way of laughing that sounded like 'hon-hon-hon-hon' - and gave Gilbert such a frightful glare that the latter was quite shocked and steered well clear.

That was, until the next week. Thomas had begun to relax, thinking they could just avoid each other for the remaining years of high school, but Gilbert had finally had enough and sought him out in the hallway.

"Mon ami!² I do not know what I have done to upset you! Zey say you are un français³ too, is it not? We will be friends, no?"

Thomas gripped James' arm and tried to walk past, but Gilbert stopped him and started jabbering away in such fast French that even the students of that language couldn't understand him. This went on for some minutes. Eventually he stopped and looked at the two boys expectantly.

So Thomas did the only thing he could think of.

He wheeled around to face the other kids watching and proclaimed indignantly: "Zis guy doesn't even speak French! He's just talking, 'ow you say, gobbledygook!"

There were cries of outrage from the students, and they surrounded Gilbert, demanding to know why he would lie to them. In all the confusion, Thomas and James escaped to Geometry.

As they sat down next to each other and got out their books James patted Thomas' shoulder consolingly. "It's a shame," he said.

"Sorry?"

"That that Gilbert guy wasn't actually French. You could have been friends."

"Oui," said Thomas with an unabashed, relieved grin. "It's a shame."

**Author's Note:**

> ¹ Do you like baguettes?   
> ² My friend  
> ³ a French (person)


End file.
